The Testimony of Robin, North
Carolina
Deuteronomy 32:11 speaks of a mother eagle
stirring up her nest so that her chicks will be willing to leave the comforts of the nest
and to learn to fly. I really believe this is what the Lord was doing with me June of 1994
when He called my husband and me to leave the wonderful church we had served for nine
years to take a new church.
In all honesty, I had fallen into a spiritual rut
and was not growing in the things of the Lord. Instead, I found myself gradually filling
my life with worldly pleasures that were not in themselves bad but that crowded out my
relationship with God.
I wasn't blind to the situation and at times
would cry out to God about the state in which I found myself. But I seemed powerless to do
anything about it.
I couldn't find the
"stick-to-it-iveness" to really seek God with all my heart. The nest I was in
was just too comfortable. But, God, in His love for me and in His determination for me to
be all He called me to be, proceeded to stir up my nest!
My husband met almost immediate opposition from
the leader-ship in our new church, and the persecution he suffered was unlike any he had
faced in his thirty years of ministry in the United Methodist Church.
As I experienced a whole gamut of emotions such
as anger, hurt, rejection, grief, and confusion, I cried out to God for the comfort of His
presence. His way of answering me was not at all what I expected!
Surely it was by divine appointment that I ended
up in Gil's meetings. From the very first service I attended, I knew that God was going to
meet me there; and, through those meetings, answer the cry of my heart. And it is with
great joy that I share just some of what the Lord has done in my heart and life through
these services.
The first thing the Lord did was heal me of the
hurt and rejection that I had incurred in our new church. I wept for days before I
received the joy of the Lord. It is a joy that has not diminished in the months that have
followed.
Members of our congregation immediately noticed a
change in my countenance. I also asked the Lord for a heart of compassion for the people
who had come against us. He answered that prayer as well.
At times I found myself weeping for them;
whereas, before, I maintained a wall around myself to keep them from hurting me further.
After only two or three meetings, the Lord laid
it on my heart to ask my husband if I could get up in the pulpit the following Sunday to
share from my heart what the Lord had been doing in my life. You would have to know what a
basically shy person I am to know how miraculous even my request was.
Even more miraculous to me was the peace, love,
and boldness with which I spoke. I was indeed a "new me." The words that I spoke
were God-given, and many hearts were touched and made tender toward the Lord. I praise God
for the tremendous joy and peace He has given me in the midst of this difficult situation.
I began to observe that, no matter how abundantly
God blesses me and ministers to me, I leave hungry for more. If all I had been seeking was
a solution to my present situation, I could have stopped coming after the first week of
meetings. But I knew that God wanted to do more in my life. I returned for more and
traveled to churches in other towns where Gil was ministering.
The main area of my life where the Lord seems to
be working at present is in my feelings of inadequacy in the ministry. My husband had been
a Spirit-filled pastor for ten years when we married, while I had been a Christian for
only a year.
I immediately began comparing my spiritual
abilities to his, and I came up terribly lacking in my own eyes. Although my husband has
never done anything to foster those feelings, I have continued to feel ill-equipped and
inadequate to do any signfi-cant ministry. I convinced myself that supporting him was
enough.
When I really got down to serious soul-searching,
I was desperate to do more for God but feared that even He could not sufficiently equip
me, I had too many things that needed to be fixed!
But, praise God! As I have continued to go to the
meetings and have stood in God's presence during Gil's praise and worship times; as I have
listened to his preaching of the Word and received ministry at the end of the meetings,
God has met me there.
In the place of those feelings of self-doubt and
inadequacy, I am aware of the coming of a holy boldness, an excitement, and an enthusiasm
about serving God and about my ability to be a vessel worthy to be set apart for His use.
My husband and I will be moving a new church in a
few weeks, and I stand in awe of the anticipation and excitement I feel.
As I look back over the horrendous year we have
just come through, I thank God that, in His great love for me, He stirred up the nest I
was so comfortable in and brought me to the place where I desire, more than anything, to
soar to new heights with Him.
With Paul, I can say, "...One thing I do:
forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the
goal for the prize of the upward call of God in
Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13b, 14) AMEN!
Robyn R, North Carolina.