The
testimony of Marilyn H, High Point, NC
My two
sisters and I were raised by our mother after our
father divorced her. I was four-years-old at the
time. We were trained in the church, for which I
am grateful; however, the God that I knew was one
to fear if I did not walk a straight and strict
pathway.
During
my teen years, I felt I could never live up to
the standards I was taught, so I gave up trying.
Through rebellion and ignorance, I married at a
very young age to a physically, mentally, and
sexually abusive man.
Heavy
depressions and two failed marriages were the
product of my turning from God. I realized my
need of Him and returned to serving Him with all
my heart. Yet, bondages from the past still
lingered and I fell deeply into depression.
I was
hospitalized thirty-two times with treatment that
lasted up to 37 days. Each time I was
hospitalized, God sent someone to minister to me.
On
August 11, 1992, while lying in a hospital bed, I
asked Jesus to turn my life around. He sent me a
good, Christian mate who is a man of God. Yet,
depression caused me to enter treatment for 17
days. Numerous medications were tried; none were
successful.
While
hospitalized this time, I learned of Gil
Howard-Browne's meeting and was drawn by the
report that people would be "slain in Holy
laughter." The meeting was being held at
Hope Christian Fellowship.
I
observed 25 to 30 people at a time lying on the
floor laughing uncontrollably. I wasn't
altogether sure that this was of the Lord, yet I
didn't know anyone who could stand a good laugh
as much as I could.
I
remembered the scripture that promises that if we
as humans know how to give good gifts to our
children when they ask, how much more does He
give us good gifts when we ask Him. I asked the
Lord to let me experience this manifestation, if
it was of Him. Brother Gil asked those who wanted
a touch from God to step out into the aisle.
As we
stood worshipping, I raised both hands. Brother
Gil came by, touched one of my hands, and spoke,
"Rivers of joy, FLOW!"
It
seemed as if I left this world at this moment. I
could see by the Spirit a beautiful, shimmering
river. From this flowing river cascaded the most
beautiful beams of light imaginable. The colors
were like that which would be seen if a ruby was
held up to the light. Tiny droplets of water in
hundreds of colors rose from the water.
After
seeing this vision, I began to realize that I was
laughing unlike any way I had laughed before.
From the depths of my soul came refreshment as I
laughed.
My
husband attended some of the meetings and
received the joy of the Lord. Up until then, I
don't think I remember seeing him laugh. We both
entered in, and he reported to me of times when I
laughed for more than two and one-half hours.
The
refreshment to my life through these revival
meetings has resulted in no more hospital
treatments. I've not taken any more
anti-depressants. I've not wanted to take my
life. I now have something for which to live.
My
marriage has been strengthened. The test came one
day when my husband and I had entered into
argument. As I attempted to leave the house for a
while, the Spirit of God spoke to me, "I put
you together and I don't want you apart like
this, not for even one minute!"
Slumping
to the couch, I began to cry. My husband, at the
other end of the couch, just sat there looking at
me. I begged the Lord to allow me to leave.
My
husband erupted into Holy laughter; then it
bubbled up out of me. We laughed for a great
length of time and spent the remainder of the
wonderful evening together. We joke from time to
time now by threatening to leave, and we break
out in laughter once again.
I find
myself laughing when I have car trouble. I find
myself laughing when bills pile up. The needs are
met super-naturally. I praise Him and give Him
all the glory.
There
are times in which I laughed, times in which I
cried. Regardless of the manifestation,
refreshment came. Healing of the abuse I had
experienced began to come. Whatever the Lord felt
I needed, He did.
I began
to be able to experience the love of God. I had
never known that love for myself, but God was now
loving ME.
Today I
bask in that love. I will never forget it. He
loves me enough to shower His love on me and to
heal my past. I thank Him for men of God like Gil
who serve Him as a willing vessel.
by
Marilyn H, High Point, NC